By :
With :
South Africa, 2012
72 min
Every destination has its extremes: Dangerous or Glamorous… Upmarket or Down-to-Earth… How do YOU like it? A Cult South African 13 part Travel Documentary Series.
​Episode 11. Cosy in Kosi Bay
“I have seen wonders and miracles in the flatlands of Tonga” said an aide to the Zulu King centuries ago. Today the Zulu word for miracle is the name given to the Isimangaliso Wetland Park, in the far north east of South Africa. Paul has hippos, palm nut vultures and the largest crocodile population on earth to keep him occupied, while Terence has the tranquillity of the beautiful Kosi Forest Lodge with, of course, the requisite blonde ranger in attendance.
Paul and a Tonga tribesman spear Kingfish in traditional traps and cook it in the customary manner at the homestead. The Tonga method of cooking fish is ingeniously simple, but delicious. Cooked on a stick and marinated in nothing but the ocean it swam in and flavoured with nothing but fresh wood smoke, this is how Mother Nature intended fish to taste.
Terence meanwhile entrusts his fish to the lodge Chef. While this may be the smoother option, his mode of transport leaves much to be desired! Fortunately he has a luxurious open air bathroom and a blonde attendant to help ease his stress away before being shown how to perfectly spice and wrap his Kingfish in a banana leaf to steam on the coals. A local gremolata of lemon zest, mango, red pepper and cilantro complements this dish perfectly.
Terence joins the Tonga homestead festivities with his inspired creation and bottle of gin. (Just in case Paul’s cooking is inedible!) As the day draws to an end, the wonders don’t cease; a night-time beach safari to watch giant loggerhead turtles laying eggs followed by the beautiful sunrise on the beach confirms that they are indeed in the land of miracles.

Episode 12. Peri-Peri Paradise
As Paul and Terence sail around the spectacular Inhaca Island on a 80 foot Catamaran, it’s clear that after being ravaged by a brutal civil war for 22 years, Mozambique, with its palm trees, tropical climate, unspoilt beaches and warm people (not to mention it’s fabulous seafood!) is now once again a Mecca for tourists. While Paul scuba dives the coral reefs, Terence sails into Maputo harbour, rum cocktail in hand, (served by a blonde, obviously!) to bask in Mozambican colonial luxury. Paul then makes the same journey but with a much rougher mode of transport. Relieved that the rusty local ferry made it across Maputo bay, he joins Terence as they explore the steamy Latin and African mix of cultures that make up the sexy capital city of Mozambique.
Nowhere are these influences more evident than in the exciting array of food and drink on offer; icy caipirinhas crammed with limes, piping hot chicken peri-peri cooked at the roadside, fish markets with the biggest prawns you’ve ever seen and, Paul’s favourite, rum and raspberry cocktail served in a freshly opened coconut. In fact, Paul drinks enough of it to be late for Terence’s very smooth peri-peri prawns dinner at the 5-star Polana Hotel.

Episode 13. Elephants, Oysters and Oceans
Our season finale plays out in the seaside forest town of Knysna and nearby Plettenberg Bay on South Africa’s lush Garden Route. The boys have found their happy places – Paul has discovered the Rastas, and is spending his days on a stand up paddle board and his nights on his house boat. Terence on the other hand is elated to be surrounded by oysters, his lemon squeezing blonde and old school luxury at the exclusive Kurland Polo Estate. Just the place to be shown how to make the classic Pimm’s cocktail.
While Paul bakes unleavened bread according to the strict Rastafarian principles, Terence is determined to find the perfect oyster garnish. Not content with cracked black pepper, Tabasco and lemon juice he tries pomegranate seed, mint, vodka and lemon, then cucumber and red onion gremolata soaked in red wine vinegar and lemon, and then a salmon rose sushi oyster with caviar and beetroot vermicelli… and lemon.
The peace is shattered when Paul takes him on a scream-inducing zip line tour of the forest canopy. The next day, while Paul tracks the mythical forest elephants, Terence savours more oysters, blondes and Daleen Matthee’s writing surrounded by the natural beauty of the forest.  Our hosts close the season on a sunset cruise aboard a yacht on the Knysna Lagoon with, of course, more oysters.